(Suggestions for challenging your cis-gendered privilege when identifying your proffered gender pronouns [PGP])

 

1.     Know that identifying pronouns can be uncomfortable for everyone, do it anyways.

2.     Acknowledge there’s a privilege in being regularly referred to by pronouns that feel comfortable by taking requests to identify your PGPs seriously.   

3.     Don’t say “whatever” unless you really mean whatever. 

4.     In fact, just don’t say “whatever”.  Take responsibility for the privilege of being cis and claim specific pronouns.  If you have a list of proffered pronouns that’s ok, I do to. 

5.     Speak up in spaces that don’t ask people to identify their preferred pronouns, so trans/genderqueer folks don’t have to.

6.     Never assume that people should call you by your birth assigned pronouns without you first identifying your PGPs

7.     Apologize for any past miss-gendering you’ve done to people. 

8.     Don’t laugh at or make light of people’s pronouns unless you know them well enough to know they find humor in their pronouns. 

9.     People’s pronouns are not meant to interest you, accept them, incorporate them, and move on.

10. Pronouns mean love, respect, whole-hearted in my Queer, know what they mean to you.  Actively explore your gender and how you want people to talk about it, even if people usually talk about it in ways that make you feel comfortable and seen.